Online Dating

It's not easy meeting people when you work from home. I go out with my friends for drinks from time to time, and that's certainly not a place to meet men. Not my gig, anyhow. When I'm out with the girls I'm out with the girls. Guys aren't a part of that (unless it's a couples night). The only other place I frequent often is my local gym, but honestly, when I'm there I am there to work out. I am so focused on what I'm doing I couldn't even tell you if the person on the treadmill next to me is a guy or girl. Totally serious about that. I'm there to sweat as much as possible - and then get the heck out of there as fast as possible because I need a shower and prefer to do that at home and not linger around the locker room. I usually have to pick Cade up from the Kids Club, too, so I really do run in, run while there and then run out. Not going to meet anyone like that.

So. What to do? I heard of people having success with online dating, but frankly, it scared the heck out of me. Besides my cool friends who have had success...who signs up for those sites?! Anti-social weirdos, right? Well...maybe not so. Maybe I was a little quick to judge. But in my defense, the anti-social weirdos are definitely out there and online. Just saying'.

I checked out a few online sites and settled on match.com. What could it hurt? It might get me out and back into the dating world. I was beyond scared, and kinda felt like there might just be something wrong with me that I was resorting to looking for Mr. Right online. I chose a 3 month membership. Set up my profile and... within a week I cancelled. The emails and notification and views and winks totally overwhelmed me. What had I got myself into?! The people that I was being matched with? I swear a full three quarters of them were recently on parole and hadn't seen a hairbrush toothbrush or bar of soap within the past year. And they looked mean. Not a hint of a smile on their face. Their (ed.note...like how I had a big screaming "THERE" before I went back in to proof...doh!) profile were bare-bones and full of typos and huge, screaming grammatical errors. I wanted to crawl under a rock. I tried to be polite in the beginning and send quick "little-thank-you-but-I'm-not-interested" notes, trying to not hurt feelings. Oh boy, did I get some rude replies back! Here were a few of my insights if you are so inclined to check out online dating...

1. Don't post photos of yourself with your ex. Really don't post photos of yourself with your ex obviously cut out. Why do that? Why?
2. Post at least one photo. Maybe a half a dozen. A dozen is okay. Three hundred and ten of them? Not okay. The little default silhouette? Not okay.
3. Please, please, please...don't do the bathroom selfies. You know the ones... shot in a bathroom mirror, serious expression. The ones where you see the phone in the photo. And the bathroom sink. And the toilet/urinal. Nothing says "I'm your Mr. Right" like a toilet in the background. Sorry, I am sure there are millions of women that like this, because 9 out of 10 guys have such photos in their profiles, but I'm not one of of those women.
4. If you aren't smiling in your profile photo I expect that you don't smile much in life. For me, this means not a chance. Sorry!
5. You don't need to write a novel when you compose your profile blurb. It know it's not easy to write about yourself to a group of complete strangers. But it's through this blurb that I get an idea of who you are through your style and the words you chose. And whether you can spell. Or use the correct to, two and too... Lack of bio and poor spelling/bad grammar and I'm not interested. I know there is someone out there for you. I'm not her.
6. If you have a crappy attitude in your bio (you rant about past experiences), chill out! Who in their right mind would be attracted to that? You are combative right from the start. Just stop, already.

I did end up going out with three different guys. Had enjoyable dates but no lightening bolts. Interesting people and they were exactly as they portrayed themselves to be, which was reassuring. I have a few friends that use online dating and the stories they have about meeting people who were nothing like their profiles or photos made me laugh out loud. I think I was fortunate in screening out a lot of the nuts. But back to the dates- there was no real chemistry. I reactivated my account (when it's prepaid and you cancel, you are still matched up. They try to keep you hooked in this way).  In the last two weeks of my membership, I received a flood of emails from guys that seemed really decent. I think this is done on purpose to lure you back in. I received one email on December 28th that for some reason, just grabbed me. He was actually local (not in Missouri) and was traveling back home from spending the holidays with relatives. He reached out to me before he got on the road to head back home and said he'd check his mail when he got home. There was just something there. Something below the surface. We emailed back and forth, then texted and then talked on the phone. We agreed to meet for a first date on January 2nd. That is when the world turned wonderfully upside down for me. Lightening bolts! :)  To be continued... <3