What Tangled Webs We Weave...

You know I have to write about this.

Let me preface with the resounding message that I am in a great relationship with someone I love deeply and who treats me like I should be treated- with respect, love, honor, loyalty... you know...kind of what we are all searching for. Or I am, anyway. It's closing in on six months now with Terry. Next week. Thursday, to be exact. And we'll be somewhere fun to celebrate. Watch for photos to follow!

But I want to address something that happened a couple of days ago. I often have said my life reads like a movie of the week. When I think hard on that, there could be several movies of the week based on my life so far. If it weren't my life, I'd probably even watch them. I've touched on some of them in earlier posts. But a new one developed...oooohhh....close to 36 hours ago. And it created an entire movie. I sh*t you not.

I received a private message thru FaceBook on Wednesday from someone who has friend requested me twice in the past six months. My friend list is just friends and family. I had no idea who this man was. I denied it the first time. Second time I replied with the message that I thought he must have me mixed up with someone else, although my name is kinda not common. At all. And denied it.

A couple of months passed. And then Wednesday happened. Whoa.

While I am really tempted to post the entire message he sent me, it was basically "you don't know me but I know a lot about you". I darn near had a heart attack, thinking I picked up a stalker somehow. Ha ha! The long and short of it is, he is the husband of the woman my ex had been seeing for about 2 years... while I lived with him. And if that wasn't hurtful enough, I leaned of  second married woman he was seeing (also while I lived with him) prior to the "new" woman...who happens to be her ex best friend. You can probably guess where the "ex best" part comes in. They all work together. Cozy. I wouldn't have believed it, really, because I truly believed, blindly, that of all things he was, the one thing he wasn't...was a cheater. It appears that he was nothing but a cheater. And the best liar I have ever met. I think sociopath fits because he thinks this is all a misunderstanding and he did nothing wrong. He lied to me about every single thing. My whole life with him was an illusion. A big, well orchestrated lie. He lied to the married women he was sleeping with. I've seen screen captures of the messaging they were doing as I was living a happy life with him. Vile, vulgar little animal. Absolutely no resemblance to a man.

To his friends who supported his charade and covered for him - and went out drinking and to sporting events with him and the married women he was sleeping with... shame on you. You all are in the same gutter together. Was it funny to you? Your names were listed in the messaging, too. To all of you who believed that I was the bitch he was portraying me to be- you have all been deceived. The things he was messaging to his girlfriends for the vast majority simply were not true. Probably safe to say that he was feeding the same shit to his friends. As our time together was coming to an end, he told me his family and friends didn't like me. I can see why, if he was telling them the same stories. I was anything but a bitch to him. I am a nice person. I have a huge heart. I am generous. I believe in the good in this world and doing what I can to make the lives of those around me better. I am strong. I am not as smart as I thought I was, obviously. Maybe it's not that I'm not smart. It's that I am naive to how truly heartless and shitty some people can be. My Pollyanna syndrome strikes again. I called him and confronted him with indisputable evidence - and he is still denying that he cheated on me. I've never met a weaker person, ever.

I am thriving. Thankful I'm a year past that relationship. Thankful that I finally know what a good relationship is. Thankful to be loved by a real man. A strong man. A man with morals. A man with character. A man with a big heart. A man who is selfless. A man who builds me up instead of knocking me down. A man who is proud to be with me and doesn't hide me away from the world. A man who I am proud to be with and cannot wait to see each and every day. A man with a wonderful, loving family and friends that are warm and welcoming. I am happy. I thrive. And every day and in every way I grow stronger, walk a little taller with my head held high- holding the hand of a man.

<3 Cat

Double Run Day

6.5 miles today. More than half were done in my lunch hour at a local park (the great outdoors, finally!) and the remainder at Gold's. Double run today, and I'm feeling pretty damn great! Feasted on grilled veggies - loving my little Webber - and grilled chicken wings. Ate a ton of veggies and a few wings, and didn't fill up. First day / night I haven't felt bloated in about 2 months. Yep. Definitely have an allergy or sensitivity to something. Need to pinpoint it, still.

Been getting fluffy the past few months. I need to set a challenge and then crush it. Having a very hard time staying motivated lately. I have a 5k coming up on the 20th and I want to PR for the year. Don't think I'll be in good enough shape for a lifetime PR, but if I really get serious, I can do anything. Don't think I want to be that serious right now. Once Cade goes to NY I can dedicate more time to training. Maybe an early summer, late fall PR breakthrough? All in all, I need to get back to logging everything. That is what keeps me accountable.

<3 Cat

And Awaaaay We Go - June?!

Apparently I've been having bucket loads of fun in the past... damn... it's been a long time, hasn't it?

The past few months have had a lot of peaks and valleys. A few races. Trip to Mexico (work and then pleasure, with a wicked cold and a quintuple bypass for my dad while I was two countries deep from him), and a lot of firsts and a few speed bumps along the relationship road. Still smiling! Still madly in love. Lots and lots of self reflection.

My son is going away for an extended summer break with his dad. I'm fully supportive of this and spearheaded it but now as it comes closer to fruition, I'm questioning the sanity of this decision. I'm going to be alone for almost 6 weeks. This will be a true first for me, and I don't think I like it already. I will have the dog. And I'm sure I'll see Terry a lot. Busy summer schedules and I'm seeing a lot of alone time ahead of me. Lots of running. Thinking. I've missed weeks of vacation for the past few years and I'm not going to do that again this year. Going to make the best of everything.

Clearly not in the right head space to write tonight but I'm breaking the silence streak so I can get back to blogging. I miss it. 😊 Every time I start to write I edit so much that I end up ditching it. But I'm a writer. I write when I feel. I've been feeling so much the past couple of months and really should have been letting it out. It starts again, now.

Shine bright. Love big.
❤️ Cat