I Heart Valentine's Day

I do.

I guess I bought into it when I was a little girl and fell in love with the heart shaped boxes of chocolates that adorned the shelves of departments stores, grocery stores and drug stores every February. I couldn't wait until I was old enough to have someone special to share this day with...a day  to just celebrate love.

Yes... every day should be a day to celebrate love. It shouldn't have to be on one certain day of the year. And I do think it is far too commercial, just as most "holidays" are now. Is it more special to receive flowers just because someone was thinking of you and wanted to pick you a flower or pick one (or two or a dozen) up along the way home? Yes. But I also think it is important to celebrate a day that is designated as "the" day. It doesn't have to be huge and over-blown. It doesn't have to be bigger and better or expensive at all. Truthfully, I don't want that box of chocolates any longer. What I want is a declaration of love. It can be a card. Handmade or not. It can be a note. A text. A call. A dinner out or a dinner in. Something to let me know that my someone special knows that Valentine's Day is important to me. You see, that is where I think that a lot of people go wrong.

I have had some very bad Valentine's Days. Full out, broken hearted sobbing on my part. Why? Well, a few of my relationships were with men that didn't believe in Valentine's Day. They thought it was stupid and commercial and that they could be romantic any day of the year - it shouldn't have to be on a day that was dictated to them. I have a couple of issues with this. One: as mentioned above, the day wasn't important to them, but... BUT... it was important to me. I spent far too many years of my life telling myself that it was fine to give up on what I wanted because someone else didn't think it was important. If it's important to me, it should be important enough to them to put in the effort to write me a note or make a card. I've never asked for the moon. Second; that "romance" that they led me to believe could be done any day of the year never really materialized.

I understand that the first year in a relationship you are really learning about the other person and what is and isn't important to them. But once you get to the second cycle and it happens again, it's a very real indication of how it will always be. That first Valentine's Day with my first husband where I spent hours and hours preparing a special meal with a handmade card and he didn't bother to show up until 10 pm and was drunk and mad at me for being upset...was a great indicator of future Valentine's Days (and many other days too, actually). The last couple of Valentine's Days were epically not great as well. It all boils down to the fact that the day just wasn't important to them. It really doesn't have to be. But I think that in a good and balanced relationship, if something is that important to someone you just make the effort. I do. There are things that are important to those special people in my life that I might not love, or even like much, but if it's important to them I will make an effort. Most importantly, I will not ruin it for them. Because I don't love something doesn't mean that it is stupid or not important.

This year is different. This year, something has been planned for me. Really for me. I'm not being tacked on to someone else's plans. Not having someone running out at last minute because they feel obligated and pressured by society. And not simply ignored because "it's not important". I have someone in my life who gets it. Who gets me. How lucky am I? So lucky in so many ways. So blessed and grateful for it. And this year I am really, really looking forward to Valentine's Day. Not for "things" because it's never been about that. It's for the open heart that is cradling mine. And the open arms that accept mine. It's because of this free fall that I have been on for almost six weeks now. This is a beautiful life when you truly find a same soul. A Valentine. My Valentine.

<3  Cat